We know that humans are social animals. We thrive in groups! We are naturally inclined to form and maintain relationships, and this interaction with others is of utmost importance for our well-being. Whether it’s comforting a grieving friend, celebrating a sibling’s promotion, or simply acknowledging someone’s pain, we often find ourselves engaging in acts of empathy and sympathy. 

While these terms are frequently used interchangeably, they are two distinct ways of responding to the emotions of others. Understanding the differences between empathy and sympathy can not only enhance our interpersonal skills but also strengthen our emotional intelligence, making us better friends, leaders, and caregivers.

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In this blog, we’ll understand the differences between empathy and sympathy, how they are processed in the brain, and their benefits.

To start with, what is empathy?

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and truly understand their feelings, thoughts, and experiences. It’s about feeling with someone, not just for them. When you’re empathetic, you’re able to share in another person’s emotional state, almost as if you’re experiencing it yourself. This process requires a deep emotional connection and is often categorized into two levels:

  • Lower-level empathy: This form is more automatic and involves mirroring another person’s emotions without conscious thought. For example, witnessing someone laugh might naturally make you smile, or seeing a character cry in a movie may trigger tears, even if you haven’t experienced their situation personally. (Tobón, 2019).
  • Higher-level empathy: This involves a more deliberate and conscious effort to understand another’s emotional state, often requiring imagination and perspective-taking. E.g. a therapist working with a client consciously puts themselves in their client’s position, considering how they must feel based on their life experiences. (Tobón, 2019). 

Since it is an emotion, empathy always has a feeling component to it, but it also involves various thoughts about what the other person is feeling, thinking, wanting, etc. (Goldie 2000).

Then what is sympathy?

Sympathy, on the other hand, refers to feelings of care and concern for someone, often accompanied by a desire to see them better off or happier. Sympathy involves acknowledging another’s emotional hardships and providing comfort without necessarily sharing their emotional experience. This trait is closely linked to prosocial behavior, such as targeted helping and altruism (Arman, 2023). 

Understanding the difference between empathy and sympathy

These are some key points in understanding how empathy is different from sympathy

  • Emotional Involvement: Empathy involves “feeling with” someone and sharing their emotional state. Sympathy involves “feeling for” someone and acknowledging their distress without sharing the same emotions.
  • Perspective: Empathy requires adopting another person’s perspective, and immersing oneself in their experience. Like the saying “putting yourself in someone else’s shoes.” In sympathy, you maintain your own perspective while recognizing another’s situation.
  • Emotional Distance: Empathy often leads to an emotional connection at a deeper level due to sharing feelings. Sympathy maintains a certain emotional distance, focusing on providing concern and care without shared emotional experience. 

(Tobón, 2019)

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Empathy vs Sympathy

Let us take a look at some examples to better understand the difference between empathy and sympathy

1. Situation: A friend loses their job

  • Sympathy: “I’m so sorry to hear that. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
  • Empathy: “This sounds like such a difficult time for you. I can see how much this job meant to you, and I’m here to listen and support you in any way I can.” Here, you’re focusing on their emotions and showing that you’re trying to understand their experience, even if you haven’t necessarily been in the same situation.

2. Situation: A child is afraid of the dark

  • Sympathy: “It’s okay to be scared of the dark. Lots of kids feel that way. You’ll be fine once you get used to it.”
  • Empathy: “The dark can feel really scary, can’t it? I can see how it’s making you feel uneasy right now. How about we leave this nightlight on so you feel safer?” Here, you’re validating their emotions and offering a solution that shows you understand their fear.

Is Empathy also Sympathy?

While empathy and sympathy are distinct, they often overlap. Empathy can include elements of sympathy, as understanding someone’s emotions often leads to feelings of compassion. However, empathy goes a step further by involving a shared emotional experience. In other words, empathy is about feeling with someone, while sympathy is about feeling for them (Arman, 2023). 

Neuroscientific Perspectives on Empathy and Sympathy

Neuroscientific research shows that empathy and sympathy activate different parts of the brain. Empathy involves areas responsible for processing emotions and mirroring others’ feelings, like the anterior insula and anterior cingulate cortex. Sympathy, on the other hand, is linked to brain regions involved in understanding social situations and moral reasoning, such as the medial prefrontal cortex (Svenaeus, 2014).  

Benefits of Empathy

  1. Strengthens relationships with others: Empathy helps build meaningful social connections by allowing us to understand and respond to others’ emotions. Studies show that strong social ties benefit both mental and physical well-being (Harandi, 2017). 
  2. Enhances emotional regulation: By empathizing with others, we learn to manage our own emotions, even in stressful situations. Research suggests that improving self-regulation also strengthens our ability to empathize with others, creating a cycle (Thompson, 2019). 
  3. Encourages prosocial behavior: Empathy drives us to help others. When we recognize and understand someone’s distress, we’re more likely to take action and help them (Decety, 2016).
  4. Improves Resilience: Children who exhibit higher levels of empathy tend to be more resilient, enabling them to cope better with challenges and setbacks (Bernard, 2004).

To conclude empathy and sympathy both help us connect with others, but empathy involves sharing and trying to feel the emotions of others, while sympathy acknowledges them from a distance. Understanding this distinction can enance relationships, emotional intelligence, and prosocial behavior. By balancing empathy and sympathy, we can respond to others more effectively, foster deeper connections and contribute to a more compassionate society!

References

Arman, M. (2023). Empathy, sympathy, and altruism – An evident triad based on compassion. A theoretical model for caring. Scandinavian Journal of Caring Sciences, 37(3), 862–871. https://doi.org/10.1111/scs.13163

Bernard B (2004). Resiliency: What we have learned. 

Decety J, Bartal IB, Uzefovsky F, Knafo-Noam A. Empathy as a driver of prosocial behaviour: Highly conserved neurobehavioural mechanisms across species. Philos Trans R Soc Lond B Biol Sci. 2016;371(1686):20150077. doi:10.1098/rstb.2015.0077 

Goldie, P. 2000. The emotions: A philosophical exploration. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Harandi TF, Taghinasab MM, Nayeri TD. The correlation of social support with mental health: A meta-analysis. Electron Physician. 2017;9(9):5212-5222. doi:10.19082/5212 

Svenaeus, F. (2014). The relationship between empathy and sympathy in good health care. Medicine Health Care and Philosophy, 18(2), 267–277. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11019-014-9601-x

Thompson NM, Uusberg A, Gross JJ, Chakrabarti B. Empathy and emotion regulation: An integrative account. Prog Brain Res. 2019;247:273-304. doi:10.1016/bs.pbr.2019.03.024 

Tobón, D. J. (2019). Empathy and Sympathy: Two Contemporary Models of Character Engagement. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham.